Friends are who they are, not who you’d rather they be.
It takes time and patience to grow a real friendship. Our cultural ‘Now’ is impatience: microwave this or that, irritated because Facebook or other social media don’t appear in eye’s blink . . .
Instant everything, right?
It should be no surprise, then, we rarely give each other space and grace to mature into our relationships as the friends we really are – or want and perhaps need to be. It’s quicker and cheaper to demand immature relationships – y’know, like the ones we made every day or two in middle school.
“You’re not being who and what I’d prefer you to be.”
“You don’t think as you’re supposed to.”
“No-no-no… according to my script you should be saying/thinking/doing this and this. See?”
Hey, if you want a puppet show, find somebody else to be your dummy. Do you see strings or rods attached to my hands and feet? Do you see anybody else’s hand up where it doesn’t belong, operating my mouth?
Where’d you get the impression your notions are what I’d choose if I didn’t have a reasonably working brain and heart of my own? See, God’s forever showing me new things about myself, meaning I’m a constant “new & improved” work in progress. Whether it’s steady progress depends upon how willing I am to accept that truth about myself and keep maturing.
You are the same way, friend. Just like me, you are a one-off, specially created being. Totally unique, and spectacularly wonderful.
It seems to me we’d all be better suited by knocking off all self-absorbed expectations of how everybody else should be acting and talking – and focusing entirely on who, what, and how God intends for us each personally to be living our daily lives.
You be and do you, I do and be me. Like that.
It’s as we, you and I, relax our scrutiny of each other and everybody else and keep our eyes on the track God’s laid out for us individually that things just work a lot better.
Sounds like a pretty good way to begin this new year to me.
© D. Dean Boone, January 2021