My Valentine and I have been holding hearts for over 45 years, and we’ve managed it in the same way any of us walk with Jesus: by grace and through faith.
It has been neither simple nor easy. We’ve literally known each other all our lives, so we sort of knew what we were getting.
She’s the one whose sentences I can usually finish . . .
She often as not mirrors my thoughts . . .
We could likely keep a doctor’s appointment for each other . . .
AND—
We’re able to enjoy our separate pastimes, either in the same room or in the same house, without bugging the other.
Exactly alike? Nope. In some ways, we’re complete opposites.
She’s numbers — rational, logical, blunt, undemonstrative, and explosive.
I’m words — creative, thoughtful, intuitive, diplomatic, passionate, and smoldering.
Babycakes is an instinctive, terrific cook; I survive. She’s Math and facts; I’m creativity and ideas. She’s into love stories; I prefer history, war, crime drama, or action movies. She stays inside, despising housework; I do all the outside work, loving the fresh air, greenery, and plants.
We have two different offices for a reason. Mine is zen shades of green, including mood lighting, with aircraft pictures on the wall and coffeemaker and several roasts of whole bean coffee bagged up on a shelf.
Hers is in shades of lavender and light grape, with accounting books and office stuff. We respect the other’s privacy, always waiting and knocking, even if the door is open. Well, except for Ray. If our doors are even the slightest crack open, he lowers his head, does the linebacker’s deal, and invites himself in.
We’ve managed to keep holding hearts for all these years because we hold a mutual respect toward each other; we are true friends beyond all else. Sharing a fierce love that bears the scars of long decades of assaults that would have lacerated most marriages, we choose to recognize our differences, and celebrate them.
Perfect couple? Not hardly. I’m an Intuitive introvert, and she’s NOT. We have spirited discussions about our opinions, yet we’ve both learned – again, by grace and through faith – to make time to understand the other’s point of view. It enables us to realize and even come to appreciate our separate likes and dislikes.
So, yeah–I’ve been holding hearts with Babycakes for a whole lot of years. During that time, we’ve both kept learning to ask that time-honored 4th grade question: “Will you still be my Valentine?”
And every time I think of where we’ve been, the lyric plays again in my mind . . .
On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo
‘Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say,
It’s true
God gave me you, gave me you
He gave me you
~~~from album Red River Blue, written by Dave Barnes, sung by Blake Shelton
lyrics separate copyright
© D. Dean Boone, 14 February 2020