~ Paramedics need the Jaws of Life to extract you from the recliner.
~ You find grass stains on your butt after taking a walk, but you never sat down.
~ On your jog Friday morning, you set off three seismographs.
~ Giving end-of-year blood tests yields only turkey gravy.
~ You have 5 flat screens side-by-side to catch all the football games.
~ Representatives from Butterball Hall of Fame have called twice wanting an interview.
~ Your arms are suddenly too short to delete this list.