You understand there’s a difference between the way you’d like for things to work and the way it’s actually done.
Position. Perks. Bonuses. Bigger offices with more glass. Climbing. Accomplishing work the next three positions and next 5 higher pay grades don’t know how to do.
You know. Just your average humble spandex-and-caped Mr. or Ms. GIT IT DONE. Every organization known to personkind has them, and cannot function without them. Of course, that fact is rarely admitted unless done posthumously.
This being Monday, and us being 11 days out from April 15th, I thought it might be special to send this reminder along as to who actually gets the work done. And whose ire is raised at your peril, regardless of your position and perceived clout.
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
Leaps tall building in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Discusses policy with God
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Is occasionally addressed by God
Makes high smudges on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Talks to animals
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can’t stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
Says “look at the choo-choo”
Wets him/herself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to him/herself
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
Freezes water with a single glance
Is the closest being to God
D. Dean Boone