1. BREAKFAST IN BED.
Do your studly duty. Unless you’re Bobby Flay, she won’t forget. Ever. Just in case that doesn’t work? Let the kids help. Mine still broadcast to everyone who’ll listen how “Dad almost burned down our house . . .”
2. WAKE HER UP WITH MUSIC. “My Wild Irish Rose” or Drake’s “Hold On, We’re Going Home” accompanied with the ukulele you bought last week at Jensen’s yard sale is guaranteed to make this day stick in her mind. It’ll rate right up there with falling asleep with her hair stuck to a piece of toast with jelly that somehow got left on her pillow.
3. INCLUDE IN HER CARD A COUPON THAT READS, “GOOD FOR ONE NON-CONDESCENDING TUTORIAL ON HOW TO LOAD SONGS ON YOUR iPOD.” Moms love being belittled by smartmouthed know-it-alls roughly the same height as your kitchen sink.
4. TAKE HER COFFEE IN A MUG THAT READS: “Every other mom on Earth gave birth to a child; mine gave birth to a LEGEND!”
5. HANG A BANNER OVER THE DINING ROOM TABLE: “MOM, YOU’RE DEFINITELY ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE PEOPLE OVER 50!”
6. DON’T TELL HER ABOUT THE ORIGINAL ARTWORK ON THE LIVING ROOM WALL. LET IT BE A SURPRISE. Why should the refrigerator have all the fun? There are benefits. You don’t need magnets for the wall. Colors of paint can be matched to overall décor. And the grandkids can get in on the educational fun. Just think of all the multigenerational interaction!
7. BE HONEST. WHEN SHE ACTS SURPRISED AT YOUR THOUGHTFULNESS, TELL HER, “ACTUALLY, WE’RE DOING ALL THIS BECAUSE DAD’S BRIBING US, AND HE SEEMS PRETTY SERIOUS.”
8. GIVE HER A PLASTIC CARD THAT HOOKS OVER THE BATHROOM DOORKNOB THAT SAYS, “LEAVE. ME. ALONE.”
9. LOOK HER IN THE EYE, SMILE, AND SAY, “YOU’RE NOT LIKE OTHER MOMS; YOU’RE COOL. AND I REALLY LOVE HOW WE DON’T HAVE TO SAY OUT LOUD THAT I’M YOU’RE FAVORITE.” She’ll still be laughing an hour later.
. . . and the tenth way to assure your mom won’t ever forget this Mother’s Day?
10. SIT DOWN WITH HER WHEN YOU HAVE A MOMENT OF PRIVACY AND SAY, “YOU KNOW WHEN I WAS GROWING UP I FIGURED I KNEW IT ALL AND YOU KNEW NOTHING, AND I COULDN’T WAIT TO GET OUT AND AWAY? I HAD THAT ALL BACKWARDS. NOW I KNOW YOU’RE THE ONE WHO KNEW IT ALL–AND I’M THANKFUL THAT, ONCE IN AWHILE, I CAN COME BACK AGAIN.”
Your Mother is always with you.
She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore.
She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well.
She’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow. She is Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s crystallized in every teardrop.
A mother shows every emotion…happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow…and all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life.
She’s the place you came from, your first home, and she’s the map you follow with every step you take.
She’s your first love; your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space…not even death!
© D. Dean Boone, May 2015