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CORPORATE STRUCTURE: THE WAY IT REALLY WORKS

Posted by on April 4, 2016

Let’s coffee.

You understand there’s a difference between the way you’d like for things to work and the way it’s actually done.

Position.  Perks.  Bonuses.  Bigger offices with more glass.  Climbing.  Accomplishing work the next three positions and next 5 higher pay grades don’t know how to do.

You know.  Just your average humble spandex-and-caped Mr. or Ms. GIT IT DONE.  Every organization known to personkind has them, and cannot function without them.  Of course, that fact is rarely admitted unless done posthumously.

This being Monday, and us being 11 days out from April 15th, I thought it might be special to send this reminder along as to who actually gets the work done.  And whose ire is raised at your peril, regardless of your position and perceived clout.

CORPORATE STRUCTURE

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:

Leaps tall building in a single bound

Is more powerful than a locomotive

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Discusses policy with God

 

PRESIDENT:

Leaps short buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a switch engine

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water if the sea is calm

Talks with God

 

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

Is faster than a speeding BB.

Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

Talks with God if special request is approved

 

VICE PRESIDENT:

Barely clears a Quonset hut

Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive

Can fire a speeding bullet

Swims well

Is occasionally addressed by God

 

GENERAL MANAGER:

Makes high smudges on the wall when trying to leap buildings

Is run over by locomotive

Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

Dog paddles

Talks to animals

 

MANAGER:

 

Runs into buildings

Recognizes locomotive two out of three times

Is not issued ammunition

Can’t stay afloat with a life preserver

Talks to walls

 

TRAINEE:

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building

Says “look at the choo-choo”

Wets him/herself with a water pistol

Plays in mud puddles

Mumbles to him/herself

 

SECRETARY:

Lifts buildings and walks under them

Kicks locomotives off the tracks

Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth

Freezes water with a single glance

Is the closest being to God

___________

You’re welcome.

D. Dean Boone

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