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Posted by on June 2, 2014

I ran across this statement the other day.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think,

not wonder,

not imagine,

not obsess.

Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

Coffee - Minions2

I already know you hard-driving types are stomping up and down the aisle wondering how to get a rebate on the time you think is being wasted here.  “You gotta KA-LOO how much I could be getting accomplished if I wasn’t sitting here reading THIS smarmy, rose-petal tripe?  Next you’ll be wanting me to have a massage.”

Not a bad idea, considering you just curled your lips and waggled your head up and to the left when you said, ‘have a massage’.

Sometimes the way to absolutely nail ‘tremendous’ is to back off, quit pushing and just.  take.  a.  breath.

Be at peace.  Think of a number between 0 and 20.  Add 40 to it.  Multiply by 2.  Subtract 3.  Now close your eyes. . .  It’s dark, isn’t it?

Aw, MAN?  Do I have to sit here for this drivel?

Nope.  You get to.  You have a few priceless moments, redeemed from your normal breathless, high-pressure pace to attain Ultimate Cool to let your harried mind, fatigued body and overlooked spirit catch up.  There’s no age limit on cool.  It’s not like there are just so many positions available.  There’s plenty of ‘cool’ to go around.

See, some days I’m the paragon of cool.  Other days just separating coffee filters can push me over the edge.  I understand that life can’t just keep going at breakneck speed without–well, breaking.

Myocardial infarctions know no age limit, either.  Or nervous breakdowns.

So. . .  I offer you the gift of a few moments of lighthearted banter intended to let you just lay back, relax. . .

. . .and breathe.  Inhale…  Exhale…  Breathe in…  Breathe out…  See?  We’re already establishing a wonderful rhythm, here.  You’ll have this down in no time.

I don’t think I could ever complete anyone.  Driving somebody totally bonkers, though?  That definitely sounds doable. . .

The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you. . .

Know what?  Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the kids we didn’t like.  And don’t you just miss the days when you could shove somebody into the pool without worrying about their cell phone?

So when some real obnoxious snooty friends had me house-sit when they went on vacation?  I took everything in the house and moved it 5 inches to the left.  Yeah.  Subtle yet effective.  When they returned they could tell something was off but didn’t know what.  They kept bumping into the corners of tables and couches and beds.  Creative payback can be delicious. . .

Dear music:  thank you for being there when nobody else was. . .

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life.  So far it is. . .

Dude, I totally want to grow my own fyud, but do you think I can find bacon seeds ANYPLACE?

To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect.  You just need to care enough to be there. . .

Overheard in ER:  “Okay, is it morbid to do chest compressions during a code to the beat of, “Another One Bites The Dust”?

I don’t go crazy.  I am crazy.  I just have periodic fits of normal from time to time. . .

Being ignored and rejected causes the same chemical reaction in the brain as experiencing a physical injury. . .

Yeah, listen–I just found out I’m awesome.  You might want to get yourself tested. . .

Ask your doctor if getting up off your butt is good for you. . .

Overheard on a date:  “What’s wrong?  You’ve hardly touched your phone.”

If you’re persistent, you’ll get it; if you’re consistent, you’ll keep it. . .

The trick is to not let people know how truly weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out. . .

For better or worse. . . but not for granted. . .

Yeah–so I danced like no one was watching; but someone WAS watching, thought I was having a seizure and called the paramedics. . .

Someone else is deeply grateful for less than what you have. . .

I have too many flaws to be perfect and way too many blessings to be ungrateful. . .

So I see your IQ test came back negative.  That can’t be good. . .

Hat’s off to whoever first looked at some coffee beans and thought, “Y’know, I bet if I smashed those and soaked ’em in boiling water, it’d be AWESOME.”

Outside the will of God there’s nothing I want.  And in the will of God there is nothing I fear (Tozer).

Hey, I don’t try to annoy people.  It’s a gift. . .

Anxiety comes when we obsess about what may or may not happen to us.  Peace comes when we obsess about who God is making us to be. . .

Time to wake up.  Wow, you were really relaxing.  A-a-and that was the whole point.

This was intentional.  Sometimes the best thing you can do with that 17 minutes you do NOT have blocked out on your Day Planner is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Just lean back, relax and rethink.  Einstein once said that creativity is just intelligence at play.  You never know what great solutions will pop into your mind when you choose to just relax.

© D. Dean Boone, June 2014

4 Responses to #5: RELAX & RETHINK

  1. Janella Shellenberger

    Thanks so much for this. I needed it at this time desperately!

  2. George

    Ok, I’m on my back at 3:31pm. Sheesh, what was it I was supposed to do next?

  3. Jack Newlon

    Gee!m I wonder what Danny wants us to do for him today? I think I won’t think about it.
    Private joke folks.

  4. Jeanne Schultz

    Lots of little nuggets here, Dan, but I have to admit I cracked up quite a few times. Especially loved the “Another one bites the dust” line. I thought, “no, he di-UHNT”. But, indeed – you did!

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