My fingers got to moving quicker than I intended. We’re moving along each week with 13 things mentally strong folks avoid. This list was first compiled by Amy Morin and it caught my attention. Thinking each item could use a little expanding here and there, I’m working on that each week, in between other posts. The first two are archived and you’re welcome to go back and read ’em.
Number 3: Ponder Pumpers Aren’t Scared of Change. People who make their minds work for them accept the reality and inevitability of change, making it work for them, too. Some personalities do this automatically. They roll with punches that haven’t been thrown yet. It comes natural, like tying a shoe or picking your nose. Picking another’s nose becomes problematic. It is contraindicated.
Mother was one of those forever-curious souls who’d notice a dirt road out the car’s side window, ask, “Roscoe—” Daddy’s given name was Roscoe Gay Boone, Sr. Born in 1903, neither name held any stigma. He went by “R. G.” later when I came along, and most his coworkers called him “Danny”. Yes, I know. Fascinating trivia.
“Roscoe, where do you think that road goes? Let’s go find out!” If she could’ve gotten by with it, she’d have left nostril-prints on the window. That would indicate to me tacit approval to do the same and—
Daddy, being a woodsman, was not comfortable around platted townsites. Once he had streets and directions in mind, that’s the way we went. And came back.
Never varied. Frustrated Mother since she didn’t drive. Interesting trips.
Mother welcomed change. I think she crafted its necessity once or twice. To her ‘new’ or ‘different’ was just all right. Her perpetually sunny ‘can-do’ attitude made many an impending storm with Daddy turn out to be a good, stiff breeze.
It’s not that my father refused to change or was unwilling to recognize the importance of doing something in a different way. He simply wanted to be reassured that it was factually necessary and not comprised of whole cloth by Mother’s adventurous spirit.
I come down somewhere in between the two. I’ve never minded a side trip and a little exploring here and there. But I generally appreciate some guidance as to the necessity of the change before just signing off on it.
I’m guessing most folks are that way.
Change for change’s sake never has gone well. Learning, however, to quickly assess and accept the need for change is a good habit to have. Life itself is often uncertain, yes? There is sometimes the need to shift gears, to go a different direction than originally planned.
Communication and lots of it always smooths the way. If you don’t understand, speak up. If you understand something other than what’s being offered, speak up. Even if you understand but still have a sense you don’t have all pertinent (or impertinent!) information, speak up. Those wanting to keep their brain in shape learn to ask questions and wait for answers.
Dialog – respectful ebb and flow of information and understanding – is the coin of the realm where mentally strong people live. It’s that flow of information that helps change be a positive thing. And seeing change in such positive light makes the next need for change go that much better.
“Okay. But what’s with the title?”
Glad you asked. Where does the responsibility lie as to whether I’m getting all necessary information about the change, why it needs to happen and what part I’m expected to play?
You got it.
“That’s on me.” The old 100/0 Principle.
Now, I need to go change this hot chocolate. Seems it’s no longer hot.
© D. Dean Boone, December 2013