Sure you can. You just need to want to.
Ya gotta wanna. And from that we segue into the fourth thing strong-minded types avoid.
4. They don’t invest precious energy on things they cannot control. Here we are on the veranda of Christmas Day. Be honest. How many of the ‘Christmas Rush’ things swirling around you really have you in a tizzy?
- Traffic. “Where on earth did they all come from? It’s like there’s a diesel-bellowing, stinky exhausted, trip-over-yet-another-Prius stampede from every automotive dealership in the state and they’re all AROUND ME!” Rules of the road? You kiddin’ me? I wouldn’t feel safe on most highways in a vintage halftrack! We won’t even talk about parking lots. Just don’t go there.
- Weather. Oh, goody. Winter storm warning. Thank you, WeatherBug and every meteorologist everywhere. Gloves. Doofus-looking but warm headgear. Several layers of warm clothing. Batteries. Lots of batteries. Wood for the fireplace ‘just-in-case’. Extra blankets. More soup. Extra gas cannister for the grill burner, also ‘just-in-case’. . . .
- Rude people. Apparently someone declared a holiday vacation on another planet and its inhabitants all decided to come here. Surely these aren’t our neighbors and coworkers, are they? Absotively not our family. There’ve always been some strange ducks among us, but lately it seems we’ve hung a right onto Weird Boulevard. These folks don’t seem to have been raised by anyone having links to courtesy, manners, respect or even ‘Hi, Gene.’
- Circumstances. We all have stuff that happens. But does it all have to happen at the same time? Could we, like, stipulate that sometimes life sucks? Is it really necessary to prove it? To drive the point home repeatedly? One doesn’t rehammer one’s thumb. No.
I could go on but the point is made. Folks with Beefed-up Brains jump or climb over the uncontrollable, knowing that what IS controllable is their response to those uncontrollable events and people. This, as with all else, boils down to choice.
‘Control’ is a finite term. Either you have it or you don’t. And the thing least likely to be controlled is another person. We may go along with another’s wishes or direction, but it’s usually because it agrees with a course of action we also prefer. We may submit to training that instantly reacts to given situations or commands. But control? Nope. The only one capable of such is the One who created us with such individual, distinctive minds and spirits.
I’ll relinquish control to Him and Him only. I don’t bow before people. I respect those who’ve earned it. No bowing. Certainly not control.
You’re pretty much the same, right? Not easily controlled. That’s why wise parents deal with the whole ‘Who’s-in-charge-here’ issue when that kid is 2. 2. It’s also why good relationships – family, work, recreation, social events – take time.
Nobody likes the feeling they’re being manipulated. Nobody wants a controlling person around. Usually they’re so busy trying to write the script and call the shots for everyone around them their own life and environment is a shambles. It’s a cry for attention from an immature spirit. Know the difference between an efficient-minded, organized person and a controlling one.
Smart people, the strong thinkers among us, know the difference. They know the whole control-freak thing is a nonstarter. They know that controlling their own attitude and responses puts them ahead of the mooing herd. They don’t let uncontrollable things or people cow them or horn in on their productive time.
If you’ve missed numbers 1 through 3 of this list of 13 things strong thinkers avoid, they’re archived at the website. Go back and read them. They’re worth it.
Oh, yeah. Those ‘Christmas Rush’ thingies that got you all a-tizz? How many of them are actually uncontrollable? Then why are you messing with them – and why are you letting them mess with you?
© D. Dean Boone, December 2013