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2nd Graders Assess Moms

Posted by on May 8, 2013

WHY GOD MADE MOMS:  Great answers by 2nd graders to the following questions.

Coffee - Coffee and Mom2

Why did God make mothers?

1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

 

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

 

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

 

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We’re related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

 

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

 

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

 

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

 

Who’s the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

 

What’s the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

 

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. My mom says she don’t do spare time.

2. Nothing. She pays bills all day long.

 

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know her hair.  I’d diet, maybe blue.

 

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.

2. I’d make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

 

 

Overheard:

“I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.”

“I’ve been so critical of my mom–how she did this and the way she’d do that.  I secretly knew I’d do so much better.  Now that mine are almost grown, I’m wondering how on earth she managed without doing the merciful thing and just putting us all down.  Wish she was here so I could tell her how sorry I am.”

 

Well, 2nd Cup friend, if your mother is alive, give some thought to loving on her around Mother’s Day.  Every mom I know privately knows she could’ve done better if she knew back when what she now knows.

Well, duh.  All of us can say that.

Truth is, our mothers – every one of them – carried emotional, psychological, spiritual and physical burdens none of us ever knew.  It’s likely we never will this side of Heaven.  None of those things are offered as excuse for wrong living or treatment.  They were what they were.

Yet God offers grace to us all when a grand total of none have it coming.

It’s probably okay to leave all youthful, egoistic criticisms in God’s hands and just offer love to your mom.

I’ll bet she’ll understand.  Besides, there’s this little matter of you . . .

Loving you,

Dan

© May 2013

 

 

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